Can you remember the last time you logged onto Facebook without seeing a Buzzfeed article titled something like “20 Things To Do In Your 20’s?” or “20 Things To Stop Doing In Your 20’s?” BECAUSE I CAN’T. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t occasionally read up on them myself, and sometimes, if not most of the time, agree with many of their points. (Personally I enjoy the pro-eating a lot of Ring-Ding’s and late night pizza arguments, but that’s just me.)
What I don’t like, however, about the uncanny amount of times that these lists of how-to’s and how-not-to-do’s appear in my newsfeed is that it totally contradicts the whole POINT of being a 20 something. We’re not supposed to get that advice ahead of time. We’re not supposed to understand the ‘standards’ or ‘themes’ of our life yet. And we’re definitely not supposed to fully grasp the very well written points that someone in their 30’s made. (No offense to my 30 year old friends—you’re amazing, but hindsight is 20/20). That was a lot of supposing.
Don’t get me wrong—I think it’s rad that so many of us put the effort in. Yes, I just said rad. We try to wrap our heads around the idea that everything and it’s Mom is changing. We try to make some sense of this transitional, awkward time of our lives. I love that. Keep on keeping on. Just please, don’t let these lists be your guide. In fact, don’t let anyone be your guide. Stop thinking that you should be single, or that you should have a boyfriend. Stop thinking you should eat less or eat more. Stop thinking anything, being anything, or doing anything, that isn’t organically and genuinely you. Read the lists if you want—I probably will too, just know that when you step out of the door in the morning to go and be whoever you’re going to be today, none of the how-to’s matter.
Make the mistakes for yourself, push through the discomfort, be clumsy, be graceful, be weak, be strong—just be you. And then maybe one day your list on how to be a human will make its way to Buzzfeed’s dashboard. (A girl can dream.) Just remember that you are enough, and that you are definitely not alone. Stop thinking that you have to have your shit together—nobody does. I can proudly say that I am 23 and have absolutely no clue as to where this life is taking me. Some of the best and worst times of my life haven’t happened yet, and that is a beautiful thing.
All I can do is pray for some sense of direction I can stumble my way through, and be grateful for all of the blessings that make the trip just a little bit brighter.